A Song of Brahs and The Chester

During the war of the classes, the seniors moved the brick throne to Martha Washington’s Square.Photo by Jean-Claude van Overbite
During the war of the classes, the seniors moved the brick throne to Martha Washington’s Square.
Photo by Jean-Claude van Overbite

By Kat Not-Stark
The Queen of Montgomery

In the midst of this long and never-ending winter at Westeros College, the King of the Shoremen, the Chester, and the Goose Nation, Lord of the Seven Dormitories and Protector of the Campus, Mitchell has chosen to abdicate his Brick Throne at the Hynson-Riggold House. In the chaos that followed this sudden vacuum of power, the throne has fallen to the seniors from the Western Shores, as their status has demanded. Allied with the upstart freshmen, who hail from the produce-rich Hodson Green, they have taken control of the throne and control of the Campus.

At a secret meeting held in the far away northern Kent Crossing lands, the disgruntled juniors met, conspiring to take control of the throne. Tensions ran high. “How dare the seniors take control of the Brick Throne? Just because they’re seniors doesn’t give them the right!” Ser Karbrah said about the senior’s grab for control.

“And now the freshmen have joined forces to strengthen their claim,” said Lady Karkent. With control of the Hodson Green, and as a result the food source of the campus, the Kent Crossers were nervous about the support of the freshmen.

Finally, a decision was made by the King in Kent Crossings, Brah. “We must attack the Brick Throne directly. Without the support of the Hill Dorms in the East, we must cross the bridge, guarded by the sophomores. An alliance is necessary.”

The junior forces walked through the Gravelands, and once they arrived at the bridge that spanned between Kent Crossings and the wild lacrosse fields, a sophomore squire escorted the King to the Class President, the Sixteenth of his name (Get it? The class of 2016? Eh? Eh?). Passage was guaranteed, but only if the King could promise a Hunger Games themed Birthday Ball. With King Brah’s sworn oath, the army continued towards Hynson-Riggold.

The seniors’ strength only grew stronger during this time, rallying troops and garnering support through the Quad. Reports of the estranged alumni, across the Narrow Chester Sea, pestered the new king during the Tuesday night Senate Meetings. “What are the alumni to me? Your scouts must be lying about them having jobs. They died off a century ago. This information is of no use to me,” King President said after hearing the daily reports. His guards, the men of the fraternities, escorted him out immediately after his comments.

Fighting continued throughout the Campus, and one day the juniors captured the top senior lacrosse player. With this act, the balance of power seemed to be turning from the seniors of the Western Shores to the juniors. There was only one problem with the King in Kent Crossings: despite all the battles on the Campus they have won, they were still losing the Birthday Ball voting polls. The Harry Potter theme was winning, and the sophomores were growing impatient.

Pressure was building on all sides; there was no other choice but to attend Birthday Ball and confront all of those contending for the Brick Throne: the alumni, sophomores, freshmen, and the seniors. Gritting their teeth, the juniors walked into the Great Field Hall of Johnson. They heard the music before they saw the decorations; it wasn’t the “Mockingjay Theme,” but instead, “Hedwig’s Theme.” The doors opened, and the seniors stood on the platform with the sophomores, their fraternity brothers holding the alumni and freshmen hostage.

“The seniors send their regards,” the captured lacrosse player said before the remaining brothers escorted them out and informed them of their immediate exile from Westeros College to the sprawling lands of Salisbury Waste, ending the Juniors’ Rebellion with the Red Birthday Ball.

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