A Song of Brahs and The Chester

Student Life

By Kat Not-Stark The Queen of Montgomery In the midst of this long and never-ending winter at Westeros College, the King of the Shoremen, the Chester, and the Goose Nation, Lord of the Seven Dormitories and Protector of the Campus, Mitchell has chosen to abdicate his Brick Throne at the Hynson-Riggold House. In the chaos […]

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Where’s Owen Bailey?

Student Life

By Waldo The Hider I’m a beloved character. Go to any dentist’s or doctor’s office and there’s a chance my book, “Where’s Waldo,” is there. It’s most likely under the stacks of “O Magazine” and “Us Weekly,” but nonetheless present. I was a hit in the 90s. Children and parents alike were clamoring to find […]

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Stuck Trying to Figure out the Holy Grail of Attractiveness? Worry not!

Opinion

By Doctor Skells Internet Certified Body Doctor What is this holy grail of attractiveness, you ask?  We’re talking thigh gaps. A thigh gap is the space that exists between a person’s thighs as they stand with their feet together, the ultimate measure of grace and femininity. Unlike other beauty trends, this one is easy to […]

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Gus the Goose: Hungry for Blood and Human Flesh…And You May be Next!

Opinion

By Crazy Night Walk Taker I hacked the system to get this printed I am all for diversity and individuality… that one special something that makes a campus unique.  Every institution of higher learning needs that to attract new students.  But where does one draw the line?  Apparently, the higher-ups here at Washington College don’t […]

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A Call To Legs: Down With Sidewalks

Opinion

By Passionately Pissed Leader of the Sidewalk Rebellion Imagine, if you will, a scenario in which you’re walking along, minding your own business and having a good time. You just had the best lunch of the week, had an intimate conversation with your bestie, and the birds are literally singing “A Smile and a Song.” […]

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Letter to the Editor: Setting the Facts Straight About The Tray Removal from Hodson Hall and Other Important Things

Opinion

Dear Editor, It has come to my attention that many students, faculty, and staff members have grown weary of the removal of trays from Hodson Commons earlier this semester. I seek to quell these fears by explaining why these trays were not removed but simply relocated. As you may recall, AMC wrapped up its critically […]

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Han Solo Feminique Fashion Craze Speaks Opinions For Itself

Opinion

By Tom Gunner Fashion Guru Straight out of “Project Runway’s” 25th season finale (no, not series finale), comes the “Han Solo Feminique” style seen on college campuses all around the United States. This space cowboy style was developed over the past 30 years from the sensationally retroactive mind of designer Hans Fälsch. When his models […]

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Letter to The Stump About The Elm

Opinion

Dear Editor, This week, I made WC history when I became the only student on campus to pick up and read The Elm, something that has never been done before since the paper’s incarnation in 1930. This was easily the biggest mistake of my life. The Elm is easily the poorest excuse for a piece […]

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News at a Glance 3/28/2014

News

By Steeley Danielle Flordia Expert 1. A recent study has declared Florida the safest and sanest place to live in the United States. The Four Out of Three Survey Institute looked at several factors that would make a state the most ideal place to live. Florida ranked highest with its huggable alligators, neighborhood pythons, face […]

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Look out for Leland in the Library!

News

By Courtney Thurston The One Who Pays Them What could be more startling than discovering a recent alumnus living in the basement of the Miller Library? Try the graduate’s reason behind his shocking return. For nearly three months, recent graduate Leland Fiegel went unnoticed amid the other students. It wasn’t until he attempted to buy […]

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In case you have missed it

In case you have missed it