This Week In Greek: The Quad Gone

By The Elm - Mar 29,2014@11:47 am

The last glimpse of the quad prior to its destruction. Ladybugs, water, and an unknown force took down the quad last week. In its place, Buildings and Grounds will plant a new green. Guess they didn’t need all 500 sidewalks in the end.Photo by Jean-Claude van Overbite

The last glimpse of the quad prior to its destruction. Ladybugs, water, and an unknown force took down the quad last week. In its place, Buildings and Grounds will plant a new green. Guess they didn’t need all 500 sidewalks in the end.
Photo by Jean-Claude van Overbite

By Athena
Greek Goddess

If you’re looking for a calm and quiet walk through campus, you might want to avoid venturing through the quad. In a slew of recent accidents, all of the fraternity houses on campus have been completely destroyed.

Since the beginning of the year, Talbot has been dealing with an infestation of ladybugs that eventually overtook the entire house. The weight of all of the bugs was too much for the building to hold, and the house collapsed. Shortly after the incident, students noticed the KAs building a new house in the parking lot out of their remaining furniture. It looks like lady bugs don’t always bring luck.

A few days later, Cecil House was completely flooded during a rainstorm. The house was picked up by the current of the flood, and ended up floating into the Chester River. Fortunately the Phi Delts managed to bring their grill and the entire contents of their refrigerators to the roof of the building, so they all stuck around for a booze cruise and haven’t been heard from since.

Only one house was left standing by the end of the week. Faculty and students were shocked by the number of accidents that had occurred on campus in such a short amount of time. After witnessing all of the destruction, the brothers of Kappa Sigma evacuated Dorchester as a precaution. That same night, Theta Chi saw an opportunity to take back their old house and moved in. All of the members of the Greek system who were still on campus went to Dorchester for a house warming party, but things got a little out of hand. The next day everyone woke up and Dorchester House had completely disappeared, but no one could remember how it happened.

Washington College Buildings and Grounds could not be reached for comment, although they were seen cleaning up the quad and planting trees where all of the fraternity houses used to be. The quad will be repurposed as another green space for students to study and enjoy the spring weather, if spring weather ever returns to WC. Since all of the fraternities are now homeless, the sororities kindly opened their own homes to house their fellow Greeks. Public Safety has given up trying to enforce the noise complaints continually issued for Allegany, Frederick, and Carroll.

The Elm

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