WC Flow Featured Calendar

By The Elm - Mar 29,2014@12:16 pm

From left to right: Casey McKnight, Tyler Shaw, and Ted DiSalvo. All three will be featured in next year’s inagural Flow Featured Calendar. Upon meeting with famed calendar consultant Tracy McPhearson, McKnight was dubbed the Autumn feature with his browning lettuce. Naturally, McPhearson decided Shaw should be next year’s Decemberist, using his dark tones against snowy backfalls. DiSalvo’s month went undisclosed, but speculation has him sitting favorite in the month of April.Photos by the Future

From left to right: Casey McKnight, Tyler Shaw, and Ted DiSalvo. All three will be featured in next year’s inagural Flow Featured Calendar. Upon meeting with famed calendar consultant Tracy McPhearson, McKnight was dubbed the Autumn feature with his browning lettuce. Naturally, McPhearson decided Shaw should be next year’s Decemberist, using his dark tones against snowy backfalls. DiSalvo’s month went undisclosed, but speculation has him sitting favorite in the month of April.
Photos by the Future

By  Rek Stez
Pathfinder

Flow: long, luscious hair (often curly or wavy) that sticks out the back of a lacrosse player’s helmet).

This so called “flow” is something that takes months of hard work, dedication, and proper maintenance. However, this ability isn’t given to everyone; only a lucky few are granted this blessing, so it’s something that should be appreciated. Word has spread that a particular group in Chestertown collectively has this “flow.” So much so that they’ve been granted the opportunity of a lifetime.

In between their games against nationally ranked opponents and daily classes, the men’s lacrosse team still finds time to grow their so-called flow, and it’s finally been noticed by the media outside of Chestertown.

After the coverage of their yearly “War on the Shore” game against rival Salisbury, the flow caught the eye of news reporter and ESPN analyst Adam Grant.

“When the Shoremen first ran onto the field, I couldn’t believe what I saw,” Grant said. “I had to take a second look just so I knew it was real. The flow that I saw under each of those maroon helmets was utterly magnificent; it’s truly a hidden gem of the Eastern Shore of Maryland.”

Despite the Shoremen’s loss to their rivals, headlines were made by Grant’s discovery. His article sent waves through the sports world and caught the nation’s eye.

So much so that they’ve been asked to take time out of their spring schedule in order to make appearances on television. ESPN, ABC, and FOX are just some of the many stations to ask the Shoremen to speak about how they grew such unbelievable hair and their ability to maintain it despite such a busy schedule.

“This flow is something that needs to be documented,” “60 Minutes” reporter Melissa Sheldon said. “We’re looking to implement a segment on the Shoremen’s hair sometime in the next two weeks and push back our coverage on the Russians’ invasion of Ukraine. Putin is bound to still have his men there for at least another few months, so our organization thinks the coverage of this flow is far more urgent.”

In order to profit from the national coverage, Washington College has decided to sell calendars with pictures of the Shoremen and their flow on it. Based on expected national sales, the school predicts over $500,000 of profit, of which which will effectively lower next year’s tuition costs for all students.

“Washington College approached us last week about profiting from their lacrosse player’s flow,” NCAA president Jig Matsu said. “After looking into NCAA regulations, we couldn’t find any rules broken by the College and their photo shoot, so you can expect to see this flow advertised in calendars very soon. Heck, I’ll even be buying two for both my daughter and wife.”

As coverage is expected to bring the nation’s attention on the Shoremen’s games, they’ll look to keep level headed as Centennial Conference play starts up. It didn’t seem to have a big effect on their conference opener as the team dispatched McDaniel 21-8. They’ll look to continue this trend against Haverford on March 26 when thousands of spectators expected to be in attendance.

The Elm

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