A Goose and A Gander: Let’s talk about sex… and relationships, and dating, and everything in between!

By Nick Anstett and Kaitlyn Fowler

Elm Staff Writers


This week Nick and Kaitlyn are discussing tips on how to get a Valentine. Kaitlyn fills the guys in on the best ways to get a girl, and Nick fills the girls in on the best way to get a guy. Next week, Nick and Kaitlyn will talk about new and innovative things to do with your Valentine, whether you’re celebrating your relationship or Single Awareness Day.


Nick says… So Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Depending on who you are, you either read that and smiled or groaned audibly to yourself and tossed the paper across the room. For many people, the holiday has either become a reason to celebrate love and relationships or a frustrating reminder of your singleness. Even if you’re one of those people that spends Valentine’s Day stabbing teddy bears, it’s hard not to wish that you were spending Valentine’s Day with someone.

Everyone has different ways of finding a Valentine or getting the attention of the gender that you are attracted to, and that’s fine. Since I’m lonely, I write this column and I consider myself a fairly average individual, I’ll be the test subject. Here are my suggestions for attempting to get a guy Valentine.


1. Don’t be afraid to just ask.  

Honestly, you wouldn’t believe how often I hear men airing their frustration that they feel expected to initiate these types of things. A lot of guys would not only be open, but would be excited to get asked by a girl. It’s flattering, exciting, and fun.

2. Have an idea in mind. 

It’s a lot harder for guys to reject an invitation if you have a specific idea in mind for a date or Valentine’s Day activity. Even if things don’t work out there’s still the potential for a fun evening. Worst comes to worst, you and your guy went out and did something instead of staying inside and moping.

3. Be fun and casual. 

As much as guys like attention, I can say from experience that a surprisingly large amount of affection is more likely to send someone into “defensive mode” than inspire excitement. So while initiating conversation is important and recommended, keep it fun and casual. Keep it about a tangible connection that you have already. Don’t try to force one to happen through some kind of grand romantic gesture.

Of course, guys are all different and what works for me may not work for everyone, but I think that if you follow these steps you’re better off than doing nothing. In short, have fun and be confident.

Kaitlyn says… Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. Whether people admit it or not, most of us would like to have a Valentine. If you don’t have one of Cupid’s arrows to help you out, what can you do to find a Valentine? Wouldn’t it just be easier if someone could give you some ideas for what to do? Well, I, as someone who has spent previous Valentine’s Days as single, someone in a long term relationship, and someone in flirtations (not all at one time of course), have some opinions for ways to get that special someone to be your Valentine. Obviously, I can’t speak for everyone, but here’s what I would want if I were your Valentine.

1. Make her laugh.

Hopefully you have heard by now that laughing does amazing things for people. It can physically make them happier, ease stress, and generally just brighten their day. If you make someone laugh it means that you understand them and their sense of humor. If you can make jokes that you know she will understand it means you care enough to go out of your way to make her happy. What person wouldn’t want to be with someone who makes them laugh?


2. Find the personal things. 

Anybody can give someone a box of chocolates or flowers. Don’t get me wrong, girls like chocolate and flowers. If you can add a personal touch, such as including a candy or snack you know she loves or something that may be a personal joke between the two of you that can mean a lot more. It doesn’t have to be something huge, but try something simple. For example, if you get her flowers find her favorites and get them in her favorite color. Better yet if you have the time and don’t mind the effort make something homemade. Knowing you went out of your way to make something instead of just hitting the checkout button on Amazon is an amazing gift in itself.

3. Leave a note. 

This might sound weird, but there are few things I find to be as cute as coming home or opening up my binder, and finding a note or little message from someone special. It doesn’t have to be some sonnet or something really deep it could easily be a “Hi, Thinking of you,” message and that still shows that they are in your thoughts. Seeing a note from you automatically puts you front and center in their head. Not to mention if any of their friends see it they will probably think it, and you, are adorable. To win over a girl’s heart it really helps to have her friends’ approval.

At the end of the day to get a Valentine just show her you care. Most people in the world just want to know that someone cares about them. If you can do that then chances are that special someone may just start looking at you in a potential-valentine light.



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