By Nick Anstett and Kayla Kyle
Elm Staff Writers
This week, Nick and Kayla are discussing the sticky situation of rooming with your significant other. With room draw being this week, there is no doubt that there is stress about with whom to room. The easy solution would be to room with your significant other, but what are the pros and cons of that?
Nick says… At no point in the year does the campus more rapidly approach absolute anarchy than room draw. It’s a back-stabbing game of loyalty, last minute under-the-table dealings, and luck, or maybe I’m just being dramatic. Regardless, room draw is a mess for almost everyone around. Even if you do have a plan for where on campus you plan to spend the next two semesters or so half the challenge comes with attempting to find the person with whom you may be living with. Although gender neutral housing options were originally created so that those that identify outside the gender binary could have a comfortable living space, the changes to housing policy over the last few years does make finding roommates easier and at the same time more complicated. While the school does greatly discourage rooming with your significant other, gender neutral housing opens up this possibility for heterosexual couples on campus.
So a simple question arises that may be more complicated than you think: do you room with your boyfriend/girlfriend? While the option may seem convenient, fun, and adult at first, there comes a great deal of complication with the possibility. Personally, I remain in the camp that believes that this is not the best option for couples currently living through college provided housing.
1. Lack of Personal Space
It’s important for any relationship to maintain a level of privacy for one another when needed. Even if you and your significant other are practically inseparable and spend most of your waking and sleeping hours together, chances are you still have the option of a personal room to turn to if you need time alone and to focus. Even in a suite style living space, this is reduced and it can add stress to a relationship that you may not wish for.
2. You Never Know Where You Will Be In a Year
Chances are you and your partner have been together for a decent amount of time if you are considering living together for next year. However, I’m sure the two of you can attest that even within the last few months or so that the dynamic between the two of you has evolved or changed. This can certainly be said for couples who’ve been dating for several years. The truth is you never know where your relationship will stand by the end of next semester. 12 months is a long time. I know for sure that I am not the same person I was last May. If things go bad you are suddenly dealing with two options and neither are ideal: living with a person that you have broken up with or facing a change in housing and navigating school bureaucracy in the process of making a very public break up.
3. It’s An Easy Work Around
I know many couples whom practically live together on and off campus that do not in fact share the same room. It’s fairly easy to establish official rooms for both sides but have one space that the two of you share. This way you solve both of the above problems. Chances are the two of you will be spending most of your nights together anyway so why muddy things by entering into the tangled web that is campus housing.
Kayla says… Now that we as a liberal arts school have progressed into having co-ed suites and dorms, there is a big question that you and your significant other have probably already asked. Should you room together? Some would immediately say yes without question or any further thought. However, others may stop and weigh the pros and cons of such a huge step forward in a relationship. I mean, you would not only be on the same campus, but also dwelling in the same dorm. So what would that mean for your relationship? Well here are some pros and cons for you to think about.
• Sex whenever you want at a seconds notice, and you don’t even have to leave your dorm room.
• More time together despite possibly hectic schedules. I mean you both have to come back to your dorm room eventually.
• It tests the strength of the relationship. Want to find out if your relationship is going to last? Live together.
• It brings confidence into the relationship. If you’re confident enough to move in together, you’re confident in your relationship.
• Boost in communication, maybe. If you are always around each other then you have more time to talk.
• Limited alone time. Limited alone time can lead to tension, which is obviously not the best thing for a relationship and can lead to feeling suffocated.
• No privacy. (All of your disgusting bathroom habits you’ve been hiding will now be revealed.)
• Upsetting your other roommates. Either you’re a loud moaner or you’re hogging the couch with never-ending cuddle sessions. Definitely not the best roommate etiquette.
• Breaking up leads to having the worst roommate ever. If you are not as confident in the relationship as you thought you were but you move in together anyways and then end up breaking up, you have just created your own hell.
• Increasing annoyance at the little things that can eventually lead to an explosion of rage. I’m not talking about the cute romantic little things; I’m talking about the little quirks or habits that your significant other may have. For example, never washing the dishes, excessively eating your food, and/or using all of your shampoo because he/she didn’t feel like buying any.
Let’s face it. Moving in with your significant other can be a challenge and it is definitely not a decision that should be made lightly. The best thing to do when considering this decision is to not only weigh the pros and cons, but to also look at the dynamic of your relationship. Are you confident that your relationship can handle it? Is it something that both of you want? Are you ready to face both the consequences and the advantages? If you can answer yes to all of these questions and you have also looked at the pros and cons, then by all means take that next step. However, if you are uneasy, don’t walk into something that is only going to bring you stress, drama, and possibly a new ex. The ultimate decision is in your hands, and I wish you much luck in whatever endeavors you decide upon.