The Goose and Gander: Let’s talk about bad boys and girls

By Amanda Gabriel and Dan Teano
Elm Staff Writers

Have you ever had a crush on a bad boy or girl? The ones who reek of confidence and adventure? Have you ever wondered why bad boys/girls are intoxicating? Check out what Amanda and Dan have to say as they unlock the secret as to why one may find bad boys/girls are so attractive.

Amanda says… Picture this: you’re sitting in the library on a Sunday night trying to finish that paper you’ve procrastinated doing all weekend. “Halfway through,” you reassure yourself as you look up at the ceiling and run your fingers through your hair in frustration. As you return your focus to the screen you notice a guy sitting across the room. He’s wearing a plaid shaded chartreuse, oxford shirt, which he paired with khakis. Holding his highlighter to his mouth, he nibbles at the cap. It makes him appear more focused on the textbook before him. “I give up,” you say to yourself. “I’ll finish it in the morning.” You gather your belongings and exit the library, envying the man who had the motivation to sit in the library for hours doing homework that was probably due next Friday.
As you’re walking back to your dorm, you notice a man walking the opposite direction. He catches your stare and gives you a smug grin while smoothing over his slick, black hair with his hand. After your encounter, he continues to carelessly stroll with his hands in his leather jacket pockets. Eventually, you find your way into your bed. While you’re laying under the covers, your thoughts begin to explore all the possible adventures this man has seen and has yet to encounter. You even wonder what it would be like to explore them with him, leaving the man in the library long forgotten.
Why are we attracted to bad girls and guys? This question has been asked for years. Despite the consequences of dating the player type, many still take the risk, leaving the nice guy to finish last. Let’s face it, bad is hotter. This type tends to be more outgoing and doesn’t care about others’ opinions because they are too busy projecting a confidence that borders cockiness. Going after someone who doesn’t appear to want you is thrilling. The flirtatious game played with someone like the bad boy/girl with the smug grin can be exciting because it builds sexual tension.
The mystery behind the classic guessing game keeps you pining for their affection. Lovers who follow the same routine with their partner tend to become boring and predictable, whereas a relationship with a bad girl/guy is quite the opposite. You never know what they may say next, one minute they are completely sarcastic, and in the next, they compliment you with sincerity. In addition, this type will give you the space you need to be your own person, as opposed to the type that tends to be clingy and overbearing. There are fewer strings attached to a bad guy/girl, and chasing after them is a challenge, especially if they make it seem like they are less interested than they actually are.
As fascinating as this relationship may seem, always be prudent when pursuing this type. Many tend to play multiple games at once, and you may end up getting your feelings hurt. Instead of jumping on the opportunity wait for them to make a romantic gesture. This way the relationship doesn’t feel one-sided. Both of you will share your affections equally and essentially chase after each other. Although rare, these types are out their somewhere, and if you play the game right, you can score a bad guy/girl without feeling used.

Dan says… As the old adage goes, “nice guys finish last.” As outdated as the saying may be, it unfortunately still holds some truth in today’s dating culture. Though many hate to admit it, people have a natural tendency to be attracted to the bad girl or bad boy. For one reason or another this rebellious image is glorified and an embodiment of many people’s desires.
Inexplicably, our western culture values and praises the image of the bad girl or bad boy. In our backward society, bad means good. This is commonly seen in the media and especially in the music industry. Frequently, popular artists will rap and sing about how bad their significant other is. For example, pop sensation Rihanna has labeled herself as bad, and is a cultural icon worldwide. This cultural phenomenon seems illogical to many, but what makes bad so attractive?
People who supposedly have bad characteristics may actually have intrinsically good characteristics. For one, they are confident, which is arguably an important trait in determining one’s attractiveness. More than anyone else, bad guys and girls put their confidence on display when they fiercely rebel against norms. The fact that they take a stand against the current and representing a difference makes them unique and attractive. Additionally, humans have a natural tendency to gravitate towards bad behavior. For instance, drinking, smoking, and even procrastinating fall under such category.
Even though bad behavior is exciting, what makes it most attractive may be its familiarity. Although opposites attract, what holds a couple together are their similar interests and hobbies. Guys want a bad girl, and girls want a bad guy because the bad is a mutually shared characteristic. Nearly everyone is attracted to a personality type that is familiar even if they are not positive. It is for this reason that superstars Kanye West and Kim Kardashian look so good together. This is not to condone today’s cultural mindset. One should not try to become bad or adopt non-conducive hobbies. If someone is naturally good, then by no means should that person adjust the way he or she is.
According to personality type, one will have his/her own niche or place where he or she feels most comfortable in. In all fairness, people should direct equal attention and praise to the more introverted personality. Just as the social butterfly displays its alluring confidence in a crowded party, the counterpart calmly expresses its comfort and contentedness in a silent place. For this reason, people should not ignore the bookworm, the computer savvy, and the chess master. While in their element, they beam confidence in a very special, unique way.
Ultimately, the differences between people should not result in a difference of treatment. Each person should be respected for who they are intrinsically. It is critical to remember that since nice guys finish last, they are all that’s left.

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