Space Facility Update

News

By Kittie Lidder Pro-Fenuary Activist Constructon continues to be on schedule for the state-of-the-art Goose Nest 2.0 Space Station being built by Washington College in the A-67 quadrant of the Epsilon Omega star system. A $3 trillion grant from the Huffington Trust has allowed the space construction to continue without a hitch, despite pushback from […]

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Adoptable Pet of the Week: Dandy

News

By Mini Magpie Stump Staff Kabob Chef Dandy, the 2 year old, 1-pound gray squirrel, has been at the Kent County Shelter for Animal Overlords (SAO) for about three weeks now. “Squirrels are no stranger to Chestertown, and they’ve have been trying to take over Washington College for a few years,” said SAO Supervisor Pinky […]

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Quest for the Business Office

News

By Arizona Scones Stump Staff Nook and Cranny Explorer It is of no secret to the students, faculty, and staff of Washington College that last August we were struck with an unexpected tragedy when the much beloved business office burned to the ground. Being the persistent, well-organized, and emotionally sturdy organization that we are, the […]

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Missing Local Found on Campus

News

By Connie Fused Stump Staff Dog Petting Consultant In the early morning of March 16, Chestertown resident Eddie Berkowitz was found on the campus of Washington College after being missing for over a week. The 61-year-old man was reported missing after he left his home to take his dog for a walk and never came […]

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Literary Tea Party Terrorizes Town

News

By Meanie, Miney, and Moe Stump Staff Teapot Craftsmen It has recently sparked the greatest riot in all of Washington College history. It has rumbled our historic brick walls with cries said to be as loud as those that brought down the Walls of Jericho: the Rose O’Neill Literary House announced Sunday, March 20 that […]

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Exposing WC Public Safety’s Hoverboard Vice

News

By Kewl Dued Stump Staff $wag Expert The removal of hoverboards from campus has occurred in a swift manner. An email  from the director of Public Safety was sent on March 17 announcing the prohibition against the devices because of “fire concerns” from the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC). Public Safety has been quick in […]

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Construction Commences to “Make WAC Great Again”

News

By Donald Drumpf Commander-in-Chief Yelling over the distant chanting of students waving their maroon and black flags, President Sheesa Bere proclaimed on Monday, March 28 that, “It is time to make Washington College great again.” Cheers erupted, filling the Field House of the Johnson Fitness Center. Cannons full of confetti exploded, and Gus the Goose […]

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Continuing WC’s Ursine Legacy

News

Washington College made headlines this spring by inducting the College’s first full-time ursine president, Sheesa Bere.

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Gotta Love Butt Rock Tunes

Lifestyle

By Nickelback Canstett Facts Sloth While I have long believed that music is one of the most subjective art forms, every once in a blue moon, one happens upon a sound that objectively peers in the aural soul that we all harbor inside of our ear drums. I have found this experience with butt rock. […]

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Another Unique Superhero Film

Lifestyle

By Air Canine Stump Staff Writer “WASP-Man”—not to be confused with The Who’s “Waspman”—is Marvel Studio’s newest film in the works this year. “WASP-Man” is a film that centers on a 20-something, physically fit Caucasian male, but it’s totally different from the other movies that Marvel or DC comics will release within the next five […]

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In case you have missed it

In case you have missed it