By The Panda Whisperer
Morning Wood Staff Writer

Maintaining a healthy diet can prove difficult in Chestertown, since the available food options tend to be quite limited. When the dining hall is just not cutting it, students tend to flock toward the few options that are available here, forgetting any plans they made to stay healthy. New studies show that there is a way to eat fast food and still get that summer dream body. The research is cumulative of the past few years, so I have summarized the key points below so you too can eat McDonald’s and get ripped.
In the study, 50 people ate only McDonald’s for one week, and 45.3 percent of those people lost over 15 pounds in one week alone. Here is what the menu looked like for Ronald, one of the participants in the research:

McDonalds

If it tastes good, it’s good for you.

Breakfast: Ron’s favorite early morning option consisted of one Egg McMuffin. After ordering the menu item, he threw out the cheese, Canadian bacon, and the English Muffin, leaving him with only the egg. Ron would then pick out any part of the egg that contained the yolk, since the egg whites are the healthiest. When asked about his process, he said, “Removing the yellow yolk was the best part. After the first 10 minutes, I started to get a burn in my arms. By the end of the week, my arms were jacked.”
Lunch: This meal usually consisted of a 10-piece McNugget and a small fry. Ron would spend most of his afternoon removing the fried exterior of the nuggets, making sure he did not consume any unnecessary carbohydrates. Once finished with the nuggets, he would then move on to the fries and repeat the process, removing the fatty golden crust to reveal the fluffy, healthier, potatoes on the inside. When asked to explain the reason behind this process, Ron said “I didn’t want anything fried, because fried food would have killed my gains,” Ron said when asked about his choices.
Dinner: For his final meal, Ron opted for a green smoothie, since he “had seen many posts online about smoothie diets.” He would order a Big Mac, then pull off the lettuce, pickles, and onions and stuff these ingredients into a blender. After blending them together on high speed for one minute, Ron liked to add in his own protein powder to give his concoction an extra boost. “These smoothies were delicious. Before participating in the study, I used to feel run down and weak, but adding the extra protein and greens into my diet has given me more energy and I feel rejuvenated. I have been making the same smoothies ever since.”
When asked about the overall results of the study, Ron said, “This past week has showed me that eating healthy does not have to be difficult, if you just use the resources you have in front of you.” Most of the other contestants had the same reactions, and are encouraging others to try this new diet as well.

The Elm

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