By Dan Teano
We think it’s really cool to be a pimp. When we see a guy with a lot of girls, we automatically assume he’s someone who has a higher net worth than the average guy at the bar. While women who see multiple guys are demonized and labeled sluts society has set up this strange double standard no one really seems to question. If a woman is a whore for sleeping with many guys, why don’t we consider those guys she’s sleeping with whores too?
Across the board, guys idolize pimps (i.e. guys who sleep with a lot of women). From rock stars, club promoters, to professional athletes, we envy these peoples’ day jobs not for what they do, but for the masses of women their type attracts. In the back of our minds, we quietly wish, “if only that were us.” While their lifestyle looks seductive on social media, it is still worth asking if the life of a pimp is one full of happiness and not quiet desperation.
Then again, who doesn’t want a lot of sex? Sex makes us passionate, relieves stress, and gives us joy. While high-status men tend to have more sex, that does not mean they’re happier because of it.
It’s important to keep in mind that the NBA player laces up for all 82 games for one of two reasons. First, because he’s paid to, or secondly, because he loves playing basketball. While wealth, popularity, and groupies come with his job title, his main focus is to win a championship, not impress secret admirers online. This is important to note because males of this caliber don’t care for sex more or less than anyone else. From the outside, it’s easy to think “Wow, this guy is a pimp. If only I were a professional athlete.” In reality, though, he’s just doing what he loves most for his own personal happiness.
With that said, most people we perceive to be pimps don’t really pimp at all. Still, it almost seems natural to assume that those A-list alpha males entertain every direct message on Instagram and Twitter. In reality, pimps are on a pedestal simply because we put them there.
Sex is great, but there’s no reason to sacralize someone who has more than the average person. It might be due to our own lack of self-worth that we measure social status with the number of women someone sleeps with—as if women are trophy pieces and our worth is determined by how many people validate you.
If you want to be a pimp, first consider what it is you really desire. If it’s actually sex with a number of women—fine. But if it’s to brag to your friends about having a rotation, then stop. If you want a real solution to how to feel better about yourself, here are two actionable steps you can do right away. First, take care of yourself (eat well, sleep enough, exercise regularly). Second, make other people feel better (volunteer, compliment your friends, give gifts to love ones).
At the end of the day, men who have a lot of sex are regular human beings with basic bodily needs. Though they tend to have a higher self-esteem, this can easily be attained by anyone willing to make their life better than it was yesterday. The reason it is so critical to think of pimps as everyday-people is because of the pimps’ counterpart: the virgin not by choice. If we look up to pimps for having a lot of sex, we inadvertently shame those who have never had another person sleep in their bed—and that’s stupid because being a good person has nothing to do with your sexual history.