To put it bluntly, this week's article is all about what the Naval Academy has that we don't at W.C. So let's be disciplined like those fine officers of the USNA and get right to the point.
What does the Navy have that is so great? For one, they have some really phat clubs. For any of you that read my article on cruisin' Main Street, get ready to gland-ize more testosterone by the tonnage, as I announce that the Naval Academy has something called the Combat Pistol Club. According to their homepage, "The purpose of the USNA Combat Pistol Team shall be to promote and sponsor the safe use of a variety of firearms in a tactical manner by providing a demanding organization through which midshipmen may safely practice the tactical movement and use of service-type weapons."
Let's get real; those boys like to shoot guns, and who can blame them? There also exists the High Power Rifle Club, the Naval Academy Dive Unit club, the Naval Academy Flying Squadron club, the Silent Drill Team club, and a series of martial arts clubs.
Can you imagine the ramifications of having such clubs at W.C.? Not only would we kick ass because we're W.C., we would also shoot ass, fly ass, and dive ass all over campus! Well, not exactly. Obviously in such a volatile environment, self-control is probably the most highly held value of any officer.
And indeed, these values are highly demonstrated, as in the case of the Silent Drill Team. As the Naval Academy homepage says of the team, "Suddenly, a loud crack is heard across the court as 16 polished M-1 Garand rifles strike the deck in unison, and the 'block' goes into motion. Stepping and moving in unison, they wind their way through intricately choreographed patterns. The rifles are moved as extensions of their bodies, always under control, always in synch with the rhythm. Not a word is uttered; the only sound to be heard is the snap of rifles on every step, in perfect synchronicity and precision."
However, I'm not so sure such a club could exist at W.C. Although I'm not saying that such extreme discipline as this is called for the McNugget American, there is a certain threshold of sloppiness and undisciplined behavior that should not often be crossed, which is not just crossed hourly, minutely, and mini-secondly by many W.C. students. I'm speaking to myself here to when I say that it is ridiculous to seldom make my bed. It just shows what a lazy bum I am.
I'm also speaking to the campus about such areas as "common rooms" in such things as Quads. I can remember one unassuming morning utterly vanquished the moment there was a hint of daylight after the preceding night of romp. Maybe a hundred tree towels had been crumpled and thrown everywhere. The quantity of beer imbibed was ludicrous, for Natty Bo himself was passed out on the floor. And some fiend must have been drinking cigarettes all night, because there were cups of them all over the table.
Really, what have we come to? Where are the values Mom taught us?
I think people have come not to understand the values of discipline and precision that the Silent Drill Team hold dear. On the Naval Academy web site, it is written about the team, "As the lone Midshipman in front salutes the crowd, they snap to attention, march neatly back into a block, and step off into the sunset." After completing such a disciplined accomplishment, can you imagine what that feeling would be like?
In The Sun Also Rises, Hemingway wrote, "Nobody ever lives their
life all the way up except bull-fighters." First of all, I don't think
anyone ever said that about Jack Daniels or the Marlboro Man. Second, there
is a certain truth to this statement in that bull-fighters exert perhaps
the most discipline and precision that any man could ever demonstrate in
life, and consequently, get a great rush. Otherwise they die, or worse,
curse the day they abstained from drinking Dew or gave up wearing tighty-whities
because their little boys have become gored by some horny bull. I would
advise you Shoremen to keep out of bull-fighting. I would advise you not
to become some neurotic, ferreting personalities like some of those Navy
dudes. However, I would advise making your bed once in a while, and developing
more precision and discipline than a game of quarters some drunken Tuesday
night could ever offer.
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