Over the past few years, there has been a swarm of controversy surrounding the Sophomore Writing Obligation. Many question why college students should be required to have their papers and writings reviewed and critiqued by people who are not even their professors. One student commented, "What's up with this @#%$#!!! I'm in friggin' college, not junior high!"
This same student was questioned after his visit to the Writing Center, and he replied with a large smile of satisfaction. This is usually seen as the result of a successful session, but the Elm has discovered that the Sophomore Writing Obligation actually has very little to do with writing.
At first, it was just a myth, so an Elm reporter went undercover, posing as an unknowledgeable sophomore with a horribly written paper. His first appointment was normal; he and one of the faculty reviewed his work and corrected his many mistakes. At the end of session, he was advised to schedule another session with one of the peer tutors. Upon inquiry as to whom he should request, the faculty member got out a book of their names. This would seem normal, except each name was accompanied by a picture and a rather detailed personal dossier. Here's an example: "Advisor ____ _______, specializes in verbalization of grammar, 'punctuation,' oratory consultations."
This was our first clue that something was indeed awry. The next meeting took place at it's allotted time and began normally. Once again, our undercover agent brought a horribly written essay, and the advisor he had chosen from the list helped critique it. Yet, during the middle of their session, the reporter noticed a few strange things occurring. It was subtle at first. The peer advisor would brush against him and point to a word; or the advisor would drop her pencil and bent over to pick it up, facing away from him. Then, the advisor claimed that it was distracting in the open area in which they were "working" and suggested that they segue into a quieter room. The advisor escorted our agent up the stairs and into a room with a desk in it . . . and a bed. With no chairs in the room, the agent sat on the bed. The advisor proceeded to close the door and un . . .
This is where the story gets stranger. As of this point, the microphone planted on our reporter stopped working. Our agent left the building fifteen minutes later and, when questioned, smiled widely as all of the other Writing Center applicants do. He now visits frequently.
This bizarre behavior demanded an explanation, so the undercover agent's superior marched over to the Center that night. After banging on the door for five minutes, it as opened by a man in lavish gold chains, wielding a guitar as a weapon, instructing the reporter to leave, unless he had an "appointment."
As the reporter was leaving, he heard a sound from behind a nearby bush. It was one of the peer advisors. The advisor said only one thing, "Remember, this is a 'liberal' arts college," and invited him to come over some time for an "appointent."
No one is really sure what happens in the Writing Center today. Some say that the man with the gold chains encountered that night was an ex-wandering minstrel who passed through W.C. last semester and found employment. The best way to find out is to make an "appointment" for yourself.
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