Volume 72, Issue 17
February 9, 2001
Horoscopes
Calypso Villanelle
Aquarius (January 20-February 19): Once again, whatever happened, happened
too late to be commented on by the presses so the stars just had to make
some wild guesses. Hopefully, all went well with your non-observant other.
The stars would also like to send an early thank you, because you'll be
much needed this coming weekend - your job, to keep all calm and light-hearted.
Pisces (February 20-March 20): You need to concentrate! This past week
has been the slowest yet the fastest. So maybe your life is one big paradox,
but you have gotten a few things settled (bonus points to you for surviving
last week unscathed). Lots of luck being the diva that you are.
Aries (March 21-April 19): Oh man - don't read your e-mail because it
will just show you that life is so unfair. You're getting random e-mails
from people that make you just want to scream. The stars say go with that
feeling. Run out to the flagpole in-between classes, and yell till your
little heart's content.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): "The Mummy?" Give us a break, Taurus.
And they actually made a sequel? The stars say poor dialogue and cheesey
plot lines haunt the big screens, but whatever floats your boat, Taurus.
Don't whine if the stars happen to suggest a Mighty Duck marathon sometime
soon in your future.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): Things are running a little bit smoother in
your life, Gemini. Are you feeling any better? You have been through a lot
and a lot could still happen but you are a professional, dear, sweet Gemini.
And whenever the waters get too rough, walk on over - friends are the first
answer to all of life's problems. Tea is the second.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): What's the story, morning glory? Not much
longer, Cancer. And pretty soon it will be like old times. The stars send
an early thank you - they feel comforted that you'll be in the audience.
Not to mention all that we need to catch up on - it's going to be a sleepless
weekend but one to remember for awhile after (right, crocodile?)!
Leo (July 23-August 22): Work it, Leo! February is jam packed (talk
about nerves), but the stars think you're already making lots of progress.
We're so proud you joined the games - not many people would. Now, let's
have a little fun on stage. Here's to an awesome show and an even better
February. Make things happen!
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Not much longer, Virgo. So much to do
and not in the mood? Sounds like you have a touch of senioritis. Don't fret
too much - everyone seems to have it and the only cure is to force yourself
to be productive. Once you start, don't stop 'till May. And in between the
due dates and seminars, have fun.
Libra (September 23-October 22): Not very exciting this week, are they,
Libra? Sorry. The stars are having a little trouble reading what the fates
have in store so forgive and forget this time and maybe by next week things
will have jazzed up. You could always help in that process, Libra. Like
Leo, make things happen.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): Long time no see, Scorpio. But there
has been a rumor that class will be meeting soon and then who knows what
will happen! The stars are looking forward to everyone getting together
again (they feel kind of left out seeing as everyone is in Introduction
to Language). Soon, Scorpio - soon (evil laughter).
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): So, Sagittarius, the stars may
have a social disorder but you, darling, have become "the other."
And although it was through no fault of your own (much like what happened
to the stars so we feel your pain and bewilderment), you did handle the
news well. And you'll always be a hottie to us!
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): The fates are a bit shady this week
so it's up to you, Capricorn. The best reading the stars can offer is to
be yourself. You can only hide the true you for so long and everyone else
is satisfied with who you are so don't give in. Smile and laugh and feel
good about you just being you.