I remember watching "The Wedding Singer" for the first time. I eventually got over how my parents would complain every time there was an ass joke, but I couldn't get over how Julia (Barrymore) was going to marry that jerk Glenn (Glave) even though all he did was cheat on her.
Everyone knew Glenn was cheating on that nice girl and that Robbie was supposed to be with her because he actually loved her, but Julia was just going along because she didn't know better. And to me, that was the worst feeling in the world.
So why do we do it? And by we, I mean men and women, because anyone who thinks men are the untamed animals trapped in contractual monogamy by marriage hasn't seen "Sex in the City" or even daytime television.
How could we sit there as Carrie Bradshaw went behind nice-guy Aidan's back to enjoy frequent hotel visits with Mr. Big? Easy-because infidelity is one of the more socially acceptable of the broken commandments, and being sympathetic to a main character's wavering sexual allegiances isn't far-fetched.
Cheating is everywhere. It's documented in regular gossip and tabloid publications, glamorized in movies and television, and rampant in reality.
From Jim Carrey's character winning money for an adulterous couple in a fictional court case ("Liar, Liar") to that girl you know whose long-distance boyfriend doesn't find out about that on-campus boy, cheating is everwhere, and some people find it worth the risk.
If Kobe can go to trial for his hotel visit, but buy his wife a ring as expensive as a house, so she stands by him, why doesn't everyone? If Bill Clinton can score some oral sex as the most powerful man in the world and still keep his wife, why can't the varsity quarterback?
Maybe the Mormons' have it right-we weren't meant for monogamy. Personally I find it sickening how little people respect their relationships. If you want your sexual satisfaction elsewhere, then you shouldn't be in an exclusive relationship - and it's far better to break it off before you get involved outside the relationship than after.
Because at this point, we have to realize that a relationship is nothing without trust. And cheating violates that trust when you still believe you are able to satisfy your partner's needs. You need that trust to simply survive in such an imperfect world when couples are separated by distance and obligations that leave them wondering what the other is doing without them.
For it's said, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." While that absolute is not always true, it certainly is disconcerting. Upon learning a girlfriend had regularly cheated on a boyfriend before, we moved on and fostered trust, but that little example in the back of my mind was always there, slowly chipping away at my confidence when we were apart.
After establishing an exclusive relationship based on trust, the couple must determine what constitutes cheating for them. This could range from kissing to handholding and lap sitting, even to solitary masturbation-but a healthy understanding of what each expects from the other will prevent a night of drunken drama, when you wonder why your girlfriend wants to booty dance with everyone else at the party.
Define the relationship, define the rules-cheating happens in even the seemingly perfect relationship sometimes, and there might not even be a reason. Sometimes when things seem so perfect, it's natural to upset the balance. Some people need that thrill, the break of routine, and the separate relationships for emotional and sexual satisfaction.
Maybe it is ridiculous to expect two people to remain exclusively committed-but do your part to respect the relationship by not being a part of one when you feel you should be out sowing your seeds.
Cheating takes two people; when dealing with such a situation, remember to hold each accountable, and remember that infidelity breeds contempt, regret, and the loss of friendships and relationships alike.
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