Since 1967 there has been one game that mattered more than the rest. Commonly referred to as the Super Bowl, this Championship game determines the tournament winner of the National Football League and gives men everywhere the "go ahead" to drink beer on a Sunday.
As two teams battle on the gridiron, men can be found in bars and on couches cheering and crying because this is the last football game for seven months. Their worship is honest and dedicated, a perfected routine after twenty weeks of juggling the remote and ESPN.com in preparation for this one final game. One final game that was perfect until women wanted to watch.
If football is a religion these women only go to church for Christmas and Easter. They don't understand the routine, they mumble along with the choir, and they can't wait for it to be over so they can socialize with all their church friends they see once a year.
Unfortunately, televised football is the church that men regularly attend, and when the women show up the first weekend in February, the men bite their tongues.
Like meeting her parents for the first time, the Super Bowl can be a relationship deal breaker for guys. For the first time, your significant other is thrown into a situation men take very seriously - football.
Regarded as a tourist asking for directions in a foreign language, they are often passed over and ignored, soon feeling like they have to compete for their man's attention when all he wants is a few hours to soak up the last minutes of pigskin action.
There's a reason Valentine's Day is soon after Super Bowl Sunday and that's because men need to remind women that while football has a six-month off-season, they don't. We just can't waste time explaining the complexities of a two-minutes drill during the last two minutes of football.
This is the one game a year when football is life or death and the only cheerleader we need is the one on the television right before the commercial cut.
My advice is that it's too late. Men need to groom their girlfriends before the big game. Women need a few practice Sundays to pick it up, and while they may not care who wins, they won't feel as lost when the Championship Game comes around.
Introduce her to your drunken rowdy football fanatic friends before they're throwing popcorn around the room after a turnover and it won't come as such a shock.
The good news? Being a fun and supportive girlfriend during the Super Bowl cements your relationship that much more. There is nothing sexier than a woman in a football jersey and hat that shares your beer and remembers to buy ranch dressing for the wings.
Find aspects of the game you can both enjoy like food preparation and laugh about which was the best commercial.
But when it's third down with ten yards to go don't yell, "They have to make this! Come on guys!" You're not boosting their confidence; you're shattering ours with the obvious.
The best thing is to sit out a couple plays quietly, pay attention to when and what the guys are talking about in reference to the game and see if you can play ball. If you can't, there's no harm in sitting quietly on the bench - after the game, you're the only player on your guy's team.
300 Washington Avenue, Chestertown, Maryland 21620 | 410-778-2800 | 800-422-1782