Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. -W. Somerset Maugham, A Writer's Notebook, 1949
Fourth grade was the last time I knew I was going to get a Valentine's Card. That was a simpler time where my girlfriend kicked the red playground ball with me at recess and Mom bought enough cheesy cartoon Valentines for everyone in my class.
We'd spend the day constructing mailboxes with glitter and hearts, waiting for the chocolate bars, lollipops, and inevitable stack of Chip & Dale recyclable paper cards signifying nothing more than that their sender was another seat in the room.
I'd sit there awkwardly in high-top air pump sneakers, knee high striped socks, fuchsia shorts, parted hair, an overbite, and huge eyeglasses struggling with the seemingly easy task of folding and cutting a heart out of construction paper. But mine always turned out lopsided.
Now twelve years and several relationships later I'm still awkward (even though I pick out my own clothes) and still trying to cut out the perfect heart from what seems like a shorter stack of construction paper.
Valentine's Day is to love what Christmas is to Jesus. As a culture, we've come to depend on commercialism and secular traditions to celebrate something that requires none of those things.
Women expect men to demonstrate just how much they mean to them by dipping into their wallets and putting on a show for the world when true love can't be measured in jewelry and chocolate.
Last year was the final straw for me. After eleven months in a relationship, my girlfriend and I each tried to outdo each other with surprises of expensive food, balloons, candles, cards, lingerie, rose petals, and wine. When I was dumped less than ten days following this facade in the name of love (she made sure to keep me around for Birthday Ball), I couldn't help but wish I had kept the money in my bank account and my expectations in check.
This simply served to embitter my feelings towards a forced holiday that buried our real problems under fake smiles and kisses instead of truly representing the love we supposedly felt for each other. However, I should consider myself lucky that out of the twenty February 14th's in my life, that was the only genuinely corrupt one.
Valentine's Day was created in the spirit of true love and while it failed me for one year, I remain optimistic and hopeful for the special night that many people do enjoy.
Having been in and out of love, I recognize how wonderful love between two people (no matter how serious) can be, and a holiday to observe such should be supported.
My advice is to be honest, and whether you're in a relationship or simply taking a good friend out for dinner, it's the genuineness of the gesture that makes it special.
For the rest of us - this holiday isn't made to exclude single people or make others depressed for their lack of a relationship. It's like the Super Bowl, just another day. And while you may know people who really enjoy football, you shouldn't be upset that they're watching the game and you aren't.
If anything, February 14 shouldn't pressure you to ask someone out on a date, but you can use it as an excuse to tell that one person in class that you want to know them better. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain, and eventually you'll manage to cut out a heart just right. Practice makes perfect.
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