I only drink when I want to dance. —My uncle
The year was 1997 and I was at a seventh grade dance when the music slowed down and it became abundantly clear who had previously talked to girls and who hadn't as the room split between the two genders. The girls giggled nervously in groups, expecting that your typical seventh grade boy would have no problem approaching a large number of strange girls and asking one to dance. Meanwhile the guys stood standoffishly, looking for not-so-subtle clues that a girl wanted to dance with them.
And then it happened. I don't know how, but I was pushed in with a girl and expected to know how to dance. Surveying the dance floor, I followed suit and placed my hands on her waist as she relaxed hers on my shoulders. The next trick was to move in a swaying clockwise pivot in time with the beat while avoiding her feet. This model, while varying in proximity, speed, and position, would be the way I'd dance with girls for the next eleven years (at least so far).
No one has ever taught a man how to dance, and usually when we don't know how to do something, we don't like to do it. But trust me as it goes both ways because anything we're good at, we really enjoy doing.
Now, most guys can coast through life without being forced to dance more than a handful of times: your prom, your wedding, and your daughter's wedding. However, if you don't go to your prom and avoid interaction with women on a grand scale, then you'll probably also avoid a wedding and a daughter. But let's face it, odds are you're going to want to dance at some point - the key is to enjoy it.
The first and only key to going crazy on the dance floor and having a great time is (repeat after me): I don't care what other people think. And its true, you shouldn't. Because when it comes to dancing there are two different types of people - those having a blast cutting a rug on the floor, and those marking the perimeter with their drinks and glances that say: I'm acting like getting sweaty and smiling is below me because I'm better than those dancing fools, but really I wish I was secure enough to join them.
There are two types of dancers as well—those laughing fun-loving dance machines and those that take themselves too seriously. Since we don't know how to dance we may as well embrace it by exaggerating our steps and break-dancing for humor, not grace and style. Back in middle school dances I would joke with my dance partner, hoping her laughter would take away from my poor form.
Even though I love to dance, I'm old fashioned, so that means clubs scare me. Albeit I've never gone club-hopping, but those few I've attended intimidate me into dancing by myself. There is no opportunity to politely ask a stranger if she'd be interested in having you rub your crotch on her in a club 110-decibel environment.
That being said, I think dancing is one of the most sexual things two people can do together, and watching my girlfriend (when I had a girlfriend) grind up on other guys feels borderline adulterous, even though I know she's going home with me. Confronting her on the issue (maybe I'm way too jealous and overprotective), she said, "I'm so sorry dancing can't just be fun for you and its has to be sexual instead."
She has a point, and knowing that it's nonsexual for her, I can understand enjoying the different dancing styles of several different people. But I had brought a girlfriend so I wouldn't have to worry about who to dance with, and finding it sexual may be one of the reasons I enjoy it so much.
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