You find yourself standing out on a cliff. You don’t know how you got there, what time it is, or even what day. All you know is that someone is watching you. You feel its gaze on the nape of your neck. Accompanying the full moon rising, you sense the hairs on your arms stand up. The panic that had been bubbling in your stomach has finally boiled over. You turn to run, but a misty shadow stops your feet from leaving the ground. The seconds feel like minutes as the mist glides closer and closer to you. As you try to see through the vapor, you are met with very familiar eyes. You have seen them in the mirror, you know their color, and their shape is recognizable. They are your own. You are the source of your own demons. You are the fiend in your own nightmares.
In reality, none of us have ever been put in a situation quite like this one. We have however, unknowingly experienced at one time or another a one-on-one encounter with our own monstrous creations. My first chilling encounter of this kind began in an innocent pizzeria dinner gone completely wrong.
Most weeks, by Friday, my brain and body bear a very close resemblance to Gumby. I have a tendency to not leave my room and can be found for the entire day in my beanbag chair watching TV. On one of these Fridays, a familiar knock on my door brought with it the proposal of a dinner at Proc’s. I declined, in favor of a frozen home cooked meal in the comfort of my room. I wasn’t there this particular girl night get-together. Just as anything that happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas, anything that is said between girlfriends does not stay between girlfriends. After dinner the group divided up: half out to party and half in to study. I was caught up with the topic of discussion.
Over a pie of pizza, this particular group of women decided that it was going to plan out its romantic escapades for the night. One girl was on the prowl for a casual hookup in order to forget an ex. One was particularly lonely that night and was planning to settle for anyone who came along. Another was planning to be Sherlock Holmes for the night on the trail of her current love interest. In addition was one who had a boyfriend, but was suffering from the two-month distance itch, resulting in having her sights set on someone to scratch it.
Even someone who is not as conservative as I am can see that there is something wrong with this picture. Taking away my introduction of this being a girl’s night out, you would have thought this conversation took place at a men’s den between men. These were women. Are women not stereotyped as very emotional, very clingy, and very relationship oriented? Yet here was a group of beautiful and diverse women planning to be just as vicarious in love as a male. All it took was a simple pizza dinner to reveal that these “monster men” we all loathe and hate, are partly our own creation.
How can you expect a guy to treat you with respect if you do not respect yourself? How can you ask a guy to practice celibacy if you yourself do not? If you go out to a party pumping and grinding on every guy there, do you think any of those guys will look at you as girlfriend material? Why would they pay for a girlfriend when you are offering a free and fun time? I’m not saying that you have to be a complete nun in your interactions with guys but I am suggesting you follow what I like to call “Rules for Male Monster Extermination.”
1. No casual hookups.
2. No drunken physical interactions.
3. Do not suffocate a guy; give him space. He will eventually come to you.
4. Limit the grinding and you’ll increase the dates.
5. This one is most important. No one can give you self-confidence. You have to realize yourself worth and cherish it.
Frankenstein let his inner pride get in the way of facing and destroying his man-made demon. Don’t let your own actions be the electricity that enables the today’s brutes to stay alive.
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