A team of pop culture scholars, knowledgeable in the ways of the undead, assembled on a chilly October afternoon, tucked within the crevasses of the lengthening shadows that probe the Literary House’s porch. (Notably not the best place to be in the event of a zombie apocalypse as senior Kristine Beskin noted, “We have a ramp.”) Each one of them was uniquely equipped to shed light on the oft-disputed subject that has persisted for years among aficionados and horror junkies across the planet.
Which are better: Fast or slow zombies?
The question is not as trivial as one might initially presume. A zombie’s speed or lack thereof) greatly affects the tone, theme, messages, and scariness of a work of fiction. The speed that is ultimately assigned can determine, in some fans’ minds, the difference between a legitimate zombie film and a wannabe.
So what’s the first thing that has bearing on a zombie’s speed? “It depends on the cause of the zombie apocalypse,” said sophomore Katie Manion. If the zombies are actually undead and not just the unfortunate victims of a virus, “slow zombies.” Indeed, in most works of zombie fiction, the fast ones are a result of some sort of viral infection making its way around the world, thus rendering the people as mindless cannibals, but that doesn’t necessarily rank them among the truly undead.
And just as with any supernatural creature, there is a great deal of symbolism. “[The slow zombie] represents the conflict of the living versus the dead and the slow zombie is a better representation of the inevitability of death,” said Junior Mac Boyle.
Zombies have also been used in the past to act as social commentary. George A. Romero notoriously used zombies in his 1985 film Day of the Dead to make a statement about the debilitating culture of consumerism. But then what might the fast zombie symbolize? Senior Alison Fischbach said, “I think the fast zombie is about it reverting to an animal nature. It’s vicious and fast and more powerful.” Manion compared it to the symbolism behind werewolf mythology, saying that it represents the “inner animal.” Boyle suggests that the speedier flesh-gobblers represent the innate, self-serving instincts of the id.
But zombies don’t just internalize symbols; they also represent the sign of the times. Senior Alison Novak noted, “We’re the ADD culture. We don’t want to watch three hours of slow zombies going across the screen. We want blood, gore and quickness … Our society is so fast paced . Who wants to be a slow zombie? You want to get as many brains or as much flesh as possible.”
Of course, in the end, what constitutes the best kind of zombie comes down to simply: Which is scarier? Fischbach said that fast zombies do add a great deal of “movement and suspense.” But the common consensus seemed to be that it’s not how fast your undead eating machine of reanimated corpse goes; it’s how you use it.
“[Fast zombies aren’t] as scary as they’re brutal and vicious,” said Beskin. “It’s like a bad dream,” she said. Fast zombies don’t “get under your skin” in the way slow zombies do.
“The thing I find scary about slow zombies is that they never seem to stop,” said Novak. “You’re lulled into a false sense of security. Just when you think everything’s okay, the zombie appears.
Manion’s opinion is also influenced by what happens when or if the horror ends. “With slow zombies there’s a glimmer of hope that you’ll be able to escape them somehow.” A glimmer of hope that doesn’t exist with the juggernauts that are fast zombies.
Indeed, the council reached the conclusion that when it comes to the great tradition of zombie fiction, slow zombies represent more thought out horror as opposed to quick thrills that come with fast zombies.
And just in case a zombie apocalypse should break out on campus this All Hallows’ Eve?
“Double tap,” advises Manion. “Don’t touch it. Shoot it again.”
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